IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
