rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
