All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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