Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
