now i know why i became what i already was.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
