omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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