i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
