I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
