is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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