She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
