we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
