i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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