I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
