I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize