Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
