remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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