Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize