before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just found puke in my bra..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
