Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
