id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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