I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
