i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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