she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize