worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
