Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
