Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
