my phone needs a breathalizer
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
