FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
