In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
