whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
