Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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