It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize