I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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