she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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