So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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