he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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