...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
