I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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