At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
