the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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