I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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