lets start a swedish sibling band together
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
