i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
