Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So squirting runs in the family.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
