Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
