is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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