you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
