It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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