OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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