any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize