I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
