grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
