So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
