I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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