Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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