its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
