Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Buhtt sex?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
